madfoodscientist

HouseParty..More Photos

2006-11-20T18:30:00.000Z

Great friendships:

Poker?? lol

And once again the beauty of the countryside!! (by the way Ceryn, this is what it looks like in Ledbury without the fog!!)

I want to go back!!!

Houseparty 2006 Part 1

2006-11-20T17:52:00.000Z

Wow...just amazing

A year after my first one (obviously) and what a difference it is. Experiencing it as a non-christian and also as a christian is really cool. I have to say that this time round it was just mind blowing!!
I got on the coach on the Friday feeling quite sad, depressed even, i sat there thinking of last year and how excited Ceryn was because i'd accepted to come along...I remember her jam sandwiches and the coke she brought me...I remember Ed calling out all the names and I was Issy, Ceryn's friend. I sat there thinking of all these things, and I have to admit i had a little cry lol. The journey there was cool. We got to Dyke House and memories came flooding in.
Anyway I need to make this post be about this years Houseparty not last years one lol.
I can't say that I got to know many new people but I got to know people I already knew better, I opened up to some people and it made me realise how many people I have to turn to. But most of all I turned to Jesus a lot, I relied on Him all weekend, I'm so much closer to Him now and I'm sooo happy about that.
The teaching was amazing and I learnt alot and I'm so excited about learning more about God!!

"Whatever happens, Christ is always leading us in triumph!!" How encouraging is that? It just puts a massive smile on my face

"The point of prayer is not prayer...it's God. He's the focus!!"

Some of the great stuff that was being said at the meetings and seminars.

Free time was great too, time to admire the beauty of the countryside and also watch the boys play football!! I did join in at one point but it started to get dangerous hehe.

The boys being silly hehe:

It's been a while..

2006-10-20T13:47:00.000Z

So yeah, it's been quite a while since I haven't posted anything on here...yes I have been busy. I won't be very long today, sorry, only got 15 mins lunch break at work today as I came in late this morning...Zarah got vapour rub in her eyes this morning, don't ask me how, I don't know. Anyway, she was screaming her head off and I didn't know what to do except to wash her eyes with water, but she didn't let me. Desperate, I called 118 500 for NHS direct number, got put straight through and now thinking of my bill, it's going to be huge!! The nurse told me to take her to eye casulty...so got zarah ready and all of the sudden, she was better, her eyes weren't red anymore and she said zarah's better now...awwww!! Lol
Now I've got 15 mins....1 min left actually ooops haven't finished eating ahhhhhh.
I will blog later about how i'm finding things in Reading with Zarah.
Bye for now

Happy-ish

2006-08-30T21:06:00.000Z

I know it's been a long time since I last posted something...I've been busy working! I started my placement last week and it's been really good so far...today was slightly boring!! Been staring at a pH meter for pretty much the whole day!! I like being at work though, everytime I think about going home I feel weird...I think what am I going to do this evening...then think of my empty flat and it just gets me down...I don't know what it is.
I had a very nice surprise when I got home today though....my CEx book has arrived!! I wrote a testimonial for Barry Cooper, one of the guys who wrote the CEx book and to say thank you he sent me the book. Whats wikid is that he signed it :) hehe, he said " I thank God for the way He's changed your life. Keep running the race!!!" Wooooohoooo. CEx gave me sooo much, I was so happy to help out!!
Anyway I'm off, tired...not used to working yet!!

2006-08-13T22:05:00.000Z

I feel bad but I don't think I can keep doing the 365, it was possible when I was at uni and even when I was at home with mum but being alone with Zarah takes up pretty much all my time, by the time she's sleeping, I've got a couple of hours of Issy time then it's bed time for me too. Very sorry. But I'll be posting really cool things that happen, not everyday but whenever really cool things happen. I need to find a name for it hehe.
My cool things for today were:

Church, yay I love church, I loved the worship and I loved the preach, God is awesome!!
Barbie, coming to sit next to me after church to see if I was ok and to give me a few encouraging words.
Lunch at Richard's. The food was good!! I was stuffed! The fellowship with other christians.
Zarah!!! She was sooo funny, made her mummy proud...everyone was Richard...are you ticklish?? Seeing Zarah with Scott and Barbie, thinking, we've only known them for a week!! Zarah calling Scott Milo from the tweenies lol!!
Me sitting between Karen and Caroline, feeling safe and loved, feeling the friendship even if i've only known Caroline for a week. Haven't felt like that for ages!

Thank you Lord for all those moments, each one of them being a blessing from You!

Thanks

2006-08-12T22:39:00.000Z

Just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who's given me advice and everyone who's been praying for me and Calvin. I'm still praying for God to help me during this hard time, for Him to give me strength, courage and an open heart.
Thanks again

Help!

2006-08-11T07:56:00.000Z

Yesterday evening,I finally got to talk to Calvin, by the time the conversation was over, we were over too :( I was kind of waiting for it to happen,he was trying to get me to do the dirty work by giving all the excuses to do so, but in the end he did it. He's been gone for more than a year now (he's in America), last time I saw him was in January and the next I might of seen him was December but that wasn't totally sure. I've managed to cope with him not being around for a year, ok I did see him twice in this year but that was 2 weeks each holiday, and coming back from those holidays was sooo hard, waving him goodbye at the airport and getting on that plane, it broke my heart.
Anyway I'll try not to get into too much detail on this because I know that anyone can read it. The reasons why he thought it would be best for us to part was because of the circumstances, basically him being away, studying not having time to keep in touch. But also because of his plans, he's got the next 5 years planned out...Job, keep studying and moving to either Asia or the Middle East. He doesn't want to inflict moving on Zarah, he says it wouldn't be fair on her, and I think that's a pretty fair point to make.
I've been praying a lot about this and asked a few people to pray for me. I know that God is totally in control of what is happening. I prayed for Him to tell me what He wants from me, what He wants me to do about this. This might sound like a dumb question but how do I know what He wants me to do? How do I differentiate between God speaking to me and what I want to do about it?
Yesterday when Calvin told me all this I thought fair enough, I was angry, sad and not up for a fight.
Today I woke up thinking I can't just let him go. Ok, he has a fair point with Zarah but that's 3 years down the line and I think that we should cross that bridge when we get to it.
Anyway all comments are very welcome, it's the reason I actually wrote this post.
I love Calvin so much and I really thought that this was it, this is with whom God wants me to be with, and even though we were so far apart I loved him and cared for him with all my heart. I'm not saying it wasn't difficult, oh it soo was, but I managed with God's strength.
Ok I better go
Thanks

Thanks Guys

2006-08-06T22:32:00.000Z

Today I woke up and got ready to go to church...as I was walking in the car park I got quite scared...first time I was going to church in Reading with Zarah...will anyone I know be there..will it be ok. I walked in, my heart racing, very scared and saw a familiar back...yay it was Anna!!! One person I know I don't have to be scared anymore just follow her around were my thoughts lol.
The worship was great...that's pretty much all I can say...Icouldn't really listen to what was being preached as I was at the back of the hall playing with Zarah. I was a bit sad that I couldn't follow what was being said but at least I was there.
After church we went to Scott and Barbie's house for lunch, we had a great time Zarah and me and I was so happy that everyone enjoyed her, I didn't expect them to not like her but they liked her so much. She was a really good girl, wanting to wash her hands all the time. Think she washed them like 10 times or something. I had an amazing time playing catch and just chatting, watching Zarah play.
I just wanted to say a big thanks to everyone who was there, Ed, Drew, Anna, Nick, Tim, Scott, Barbie and the others. You have no idea how much I needed to be around people. I was feeling so isolated and I just felt so welcome, Thanks. Walking back I thought I need to blog about this because it's just so nice and I even nearly cried thinking of how nice my day had been thanks to these amazing people.
God answered my prayers, and I'm so happy.
The thought of this new week is still very overwhelming but I know that I'm welcome round Barbie's anytime and that's reasuring.
Thanks again guys!!

Sorry

2006-07-31T23:49:00.000Z

May I please be excused for a few days?? I will not be able to keep doing my 365 at the moment, I've got so many things going on right now I just don't know where to put my head. Having problems a few serious problems that I need to sort out... I'm so scared that it won't sort out but I have faith in God and that He'll help me through this.
As soon as i've got everything sorted I'll get back to my 365, sorry it won't be back dated..i'll just pick up from where i left it.

57/365

2006-07-29T00:29:00.000Z

Zarah giving me loads of kisses and hugs....hmmm they are soo nice lol...amazing how much love she has to give!!

56/365

2006-07-29T00:26:00.000Z

Watching Zarah having fun on those rides outside supermarkets..You know what I mean...amazing how they attract children those things...she just climbed onto it and said mum...money!!! Imagine what she's going to be like when she's older!!

Annoyed

2006-07-26T21:02:00.000Z

Why is it that when you try to help someone, they always seem to want more?? Ok, maybe not everyone but sometimes, I think to myself, well what if I hadn't done anything in the first place...OK i'll explain where i'm coming from.
Billy, Zarah's dad, sent me a text asking for a number so that he could phone me other than my mobile number. We haven't really kept in contact and he's never been a part of Zarah's life so I didn't really want to give my home number...anyway I decided to phone him instead to see what he wanted. He asked me how I was and what i'm doing..told him about my placement and my degree and he was like wow..u're doing well...I guess he was expecting me to be really struggling and not going anywhere in life. Anyway...he even spoke to Zarah...she didnt know who she was talking to but he still heard her. He then went on to ask for a photo of her...and I said no, not now(I have really good reasons). Guess what...he got angry...and it made me think "he's got such a nerve being angry with me" After everything i've been through because of him...i've still forgiven him..i still phoned him...i still let him talk to Zarah and i still text him and he's angry with me...I keep asking the question "what would Jesus do?" But i've done everything that I can and I now I have only my little girls interests at heart...anyway just wanted to share that because it was starting to annoy me...

55/365

2006-07-26T21:00:00.000Z

My aunt coming to visit to say good bye and good luck to me before I move to Reading with Zarah...receiving a present :) will use it to get Freeview:) Zarah needs her CBeebies

54/365

2006-07-26T20:58:00.000Z

Spending time with a good friend on his last day in England...really making the most of the time we have left...will deffo go see him in France soon :)

53/365

2006-07-26T20:56:00.000Z

Walking in the park with mum..going to get Zarah from her childminder...seeing her run around in the park having fun with her friends :)

52/365

2006-07-23T12:19:00.000Z

Do not be afraid...even though you feel that God is not there and that you are struggling on your own, He is there watching...He is walking with you
That was the main point in church this morning...and what an encouragement...close friends will know how scared I am at the moment about moving out with Zarah...I don't know what I'm scared of but I have total faith and trust in the Lord...Thank You Lord for always being there no matter what...for Your unconditional love...Your never changing love!!!

51/365

2006-07-23T12:04:00.000Z

Zarah being upset seeing me ill...her letting me sleep and sleeping next to me...she's so understanding

50/365

2006-07-21T23:21:00.000Z

In the night bus...falling asleep and this guy asking me if I haven't missed my stop while I was sleeping...another guy just talking to me, making me feel safer...knowing that God has got an eye on me...that He's keeping me safe..that i'm in the palm of his hand and that He is in control

49/365

2006-07-21T23:18:00.000Z

Going out with Karen, her friends and a friend from Mauritius...had a good time...was nice to be out again.

48/365

2006-07-21T23:16:00.000Z

Spending time with mum, gran and Zarah...4 generations on one sofa...amazing!!

47/365

2006-07-21T23:13:00.000Z

Finishing moving out of the old house...

46/365

2006-07-17T22:38:00.000Z

Watching Zarah push Barney in her mini pram...she looked so cute...I'm very proud of her

45/365

2006-07-16T22:52:00.000Z

Going to church....and although Zarah didn't want to stay in the creche today and although she was moaning nearly the whole way through I managed to pick up things from the sermon, listening to the things that I needed to hear...

The safe feeling I get when i'm at church...the feeling like God is giving me a huge cuddle..but at the same time a feeling of being tiny before the Lord..the feeling of not deserving his love but so grateful to have it...just feeling like I want to shout out my praise to the Lord for all that He has done in my life and yet to do...

44/365

2006-07-15T22:50:00.000Z

Going shopping with Zarah...taking her to Toys R Us...Hmmm dunno if that was a good idea or not lol.

She tried riding a bike...she looked so cute!!

Being encouraged by Tim this morning!! Gave me a big smile first thing in the morning!!

43/365

2006-07-14T22:45:00.000Z

Discovering more about the Lord and loving every bit of it...

Being happy to be a Christian (dunno if that sounds right lol) but yeah walking home thinking this life is great but what's to come is going to be even better

Trusting in the Lord...

Oh and also...sorting out my feelings for Calvin...finding out for sure what I want...and knowing for sure that I love him with all my heart...

42/365

2006-07-13T22:56:00.000Z

Reading C.J.Mahaney's, Living the Cross Centered Life. Enjoying everything he writes and finding answers to some of my questions.
(Would like to thank Adrian from church for recommending this book...it's helping me a lot)

Going to watch Pirates at the cinema with my mum...enjoying spending time with her...

Talking about Jesus to this guy on MSN...wanting to say more about how wonderful and amazing the Lord is...challenging him...

Knowing that God is putting me into situations that make me open my eyes to the truth...Jesus is here with me at all times..through everything...He'll always be here...His love is never changing!!!

Confused...

2006-07-13T21:51:00.000Z

Right...there's this song that I really like, well I like the tune...Today I was listening to it on the bus and I listened to the lyrics, well tried to. Didn't actually understand what he was saying so I looked it up on the net and it's just confusing lol... Anyone out there who can explain it to me hehe...oh, and sorry for the slight bad language...

For each a road
For everyman a religion
Find everybody and rule
F*** everything and rumble
Forget everything and remember
For everything a reason
Forgive everybody and remember

For each a road
For everyman a religion
Face everybody and rule
F*** everything and rumble
Forget everything and remember
For everything a reason

You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)

Finding eternity arouses reactions
Freeing excellence affects reality
Fallen empires are ruling
Find earth and reap

Fantastic expectations
Amazing revelations
Final execution and resurrection
Free expression as revolution
Finding everything and realizing

You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)

(Fantastic expectations
Amazing revelations
Finding everyone and reuniting
For everything a reason)

F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear

Fear-Ian Brown

The line that actually made me want to know the lyrics was " Finding everything and realizing ...you've got the fear" It made me think of me...how I managed to sort out everything for me to live with Zarah and now that the time is really near for me to properly move, i'm scared...really, really scared...I'm not even thinking about moving..mum just asked when I was going to Reading and I don't know :( don't want to go!!! This is me speaking...me who loves my own space!! I know i'll be fine because God is with me...

41/365

2006-07-12T20:53:00.000Z

Receiving a card from Kat :) It was so funny even now when I think of it I smile!! I love the way she always manages to make me laugh hehe...
Getting the pic we took in the photo booth thingy...6 of us were in there at the last Wednesday at the union!! It was funny!!

Getting great advice from Ceryn and also from someone I thought would have forgotten about me..Tom from Mission week :) Remembering how great that week was and how I enjoyed it...the people I met...the friendships I made not forgetting the tuna and mayo baguettes!!!

40/365

2006-07-11T22:33:00.000Z

Reading Ephesians while Zarah was bouncing on the bed...seeing how amazing God is once again...how we're saved by Grace and not by works.
Being amazed by the fact that God chose me...I don't deserve his Grace but wow how thankful I am!!

Honesty can sometimes really hurt

2006-07-11T21:59:00.000Z

Sometimes I find it really hard to be honest, not only with friends and people in general but also with myself.
I was reading Ceryn's recent post "Funny that", about christians stuggling etc...Well I feel as if i've been struggling for quite some time...that fire that was once in me slowly became a tiny flame and I don't know how it happened. I remember in hope week, it was the monday, I was at small world cafe, I'd been a christian for a week or so and I was talking to the guy who gave the lunch time talks (sorry forgot his name)... he was so happy to see me overflowing with joy, with a permanent smile on my face and I remember him telling me 'I hope you always feel this way' and I hoped to...but it didn't last that long...after a massive high came a big low and the low lasted forever. I'd read my Bible, i'd pray, i'd go to church but nothing stopped it from going lower and lower until I thought 'What's the point?'. I kept going to church...but my Bible started to collect dust on my bedside table...Praying, well I tried, before going to bed, but before i'd even got into it i'd fall asleep. I felt further and further from God...it bothered me, but I felt as if there was nothing I could do...felt as if I'd tried everything.
I went through a horrible week or so where God was totally put to the back of my mind...I was doing things that went against everything I believed in...I had hurt people really close to me, disappointed them, lied to my closest friends. That week I went CU...I got there and I just felt as if I couldn't stay...I just couldn't...I felt out of place...I told Ceryn I was leaving, she asked me why and I just couldn't look at her...I was so ashamed of how far from God I had actually got, and only then that I told her the truth about what was going on. I should have turned to her in the first place...but I was too scared...too ashamed. Anyway i stayed and I felt so much better but not 100% better.
Since then I've had ups and downs...but mostly downs I think. Yesterday I was very down...today I feel as if i'm getting closer and closer to God but it feels as if i've still got more to do. I know "More?? what more..." I'm saved by Grace not by works...I just wish I could feel the way I felt the day I gave my life to Christ...I will never forget that feeling and it really upsets me that i'm not burning up inside to know more about him, to want to share the Gospel.
Sometimes I think that maybe if someone was there with me to help me through the first months of my walk with Jesus that i'd know 'What to do'. (Ceryn please don't take offence). I know that if I need help with anything there's a lot of people out there to help me but I don't really have a Christian confident...say I'm stupid but i'm sure everyone has got someone with whom they spend a lot of time with, talking about God...I want that...I want that kind of bond with someone...
Lately I feel as if i've gone back to my old ways...the way I was before I was saved...I don't like that...been praying about it and today I feel much better.
Anyway, after writing this post well, I feel upset, really just want to cry...but i'll get over it, with Gods strength...

39/365

2006-07-10T21:12:00.000Z

Standing in Covent Garden...waiting for a friend I haven't seen in 4 years...wondering if he still looks the same...if i'll recognise him...if we'll have something to talk about...worrying....then seeing him and having a big smile on my face :) ...nice to see him again!!

My Sunday

2006-07-09T22:35:00.000Z

Well today I wasn't able to go to church...reason: the lady who was going to give us a lift gave me a wrong number..ooops so couldn't reach her...I really wanted to go because it was a regional celebration...oh well...
I'm so glad that I found a church here that I really like and where I feel so close to God...and i'm so challenged by what is said there...every week there is something that hits me...I'll soon be leaving and I'll be so so sad to leave this awesome church...I'll be moving on at Reading Family church, no longer as the student but as the mum!! Or maybe a mixture of both hehe!! I've got this year broadly planned out but thinking further than that is soo scary because I don't know what is going to happen, but at the same time I smile because I know that the Lord has got everything planned out for me...The scary thing involves Zarah...thinking of where I need to put her name down for school!! I haven't got a clue where i'll be when I finish uni...will I be going to America or will i be going back to mums, I haven't got a clue...but choosing a school is something really important and it's very scary.
I see why it's probably better not to have a child when you're at uni hehe

38/365

2006-07-09T22:32:00.000Z

Looking at Zarah and seeing how much she's grown...she's starting to say proper sentences!!

Watching the World cup final...breathtaking stuff...feeling my heart race at the penalty shots...

37/365

2006-07-08T22:48:00.000Z

Getting zarah ready for her first birthday party...making her look really pretty :) (I like doing that)

Taking her to the party and watching her play in the soft play thingy with all the balls and slides...

Her wanting me to play with her, so yay I got to go down the slide into the balls hehe...

36/365

2006-07-08T22:43:00.000Z

Packing my stuff in London, well not a great thing...but finding stuff that people gave to me back when I was younger lol...old love letters...old friend letters(people wrote a lot of letters in Mauritius)

35/365

2006-07-06T22:44:00.000Z

Having a laugh with my mum about the replacement suitcase I got from the airline people (they broke my suitcase when i went to Marseille)...it was huge lol!! Mum was like, what we going to do with such a big suitcase!!!

Going to Ikea and buying stuff for my flat :) yay can't wait to start decorating properly!!!

34/365

2006-07-05T23:53:00.000Z

Buying a birthday present for Zarah's first party (that shes been invited to)...feeling like a mum hehe...

33/365

2006-07-04T23:40:00.000Z

Talking to my gran and just annoying her hehe...I bet she missed me annoying her!!! Was cool...she was asking me whether I needed anything for my flat...me asking her to give me everything nice that she has...like her mirror...but hey its a nice mirror!!!

32/365

2006-07-04T23:39:00.000Z

Watching Zarah learn new words...just wathing her grow!!

31/365

2006-07-02T21:53:00.000Z

Being encouraged by the what the preacher at church had said...the smile I had at the end...I love church!!

30/365

2006-07-01T23:47:00.000Z

Getting to chat to Calvin after weeks of silence...was starting to get worried...still slightly annoyed by the fact that he hasn't really put much effort into contacting me but oh well!!! "He's busy"...but was nice talking to him briefly (he had to rush off tut tut)

29/365

2006-07-01T23:44:00.000Z

Laughing and joking with Ceryn for the last time in Sherfield...Seeing Ceryn off...Watching her leave thinking i know i'll see her again :)

Seeing how far we've all come and praising the Lord for all the great things He has done this year...

28/365

2006-06-29T12:39:00.000Z

Waking up in my new flat for the first time...

Spending time with friends in the park...playing frisbee with Alex

Alex helping me move furniture...thanks soooo much

Going to CU yay...missed CU so much

27/365

2006-06-29T12:33:00.000Z

Surprising Ceryn by coming to Reading and not telling her...seeing her reaction when I told her that Kat knew hehehe...

Being able to find a ticket for Karan (a friend of mine) for the union...making her soooooo happy!!

Going to the union woooohoooo yay it was good...second time with Ceryn in a year!!

26/365

2006-06-29T12:31:00.000Z

Sleeping pretty much all the way home from Marseille...except for when I had to get off the plane and changing trains!!

25/365

2006-06-26T22:01:00.000Z

God making me understand once more that He's in control!!!

24/365

2006-06-26T21:25:00.000Z

Going to The Red Lion pub in Marseille to watch the match after being in the sun for the past 4hours... havin a pint of cider and black...meeting a guy from Luton who now lives in Marseille!!! Fun stuff...

Lazy day

2006-06-26T19:29:00.000Z

Yesterday (sunday), was such a lazy day... I woke up, got ready to go to the beach and spent all day just lying in the burning sun and in the sea...it was great...well I did get bored...so I decided to for a walk on my own... it was much needed...well I discovered The Red Lion pub...obviously a British pub so decided to go in, as the match was playing it gave me something else to do!!! I sat there staring at the screen... thinking GO ENGLAND but also how I missed England, I missed the people (maybe not chavs tho lol), peoples manners and just the culture in general...it's so different here...people are so lazy and they don't really care about anything... you don't get I.D'd to get into a pub or a club...you can't even cross on a zebra crossing, the cars never stop!!!! I just find that this place has no respect whatsoever for anything!!! Even the seagulls are crazy!!!!Oh well lol...
We went out in the evening for dinner: Steph, Sammy, Sophie and me... I had prawns hmmmm then paella hmmmm... it was good!!!
Today was the day I was coming back... I was quite looking forward to seeing Zarah and just generally being back. Well I kind of missed my plane... ooops so i'm coming back tomorrow...gte to spend another hot night in Marseille...
I was on the coach going to the airport and I knew I was going to miss the plane... started praying...I just calmed down straight away... got to the airport and I had missed check-in...the nice lady found me a place on the flight tomorrow!!! It was the last one!!! God is awesome!!!

23/365

2006-06-24T19:27:00.000Z

Making Stephanie laugh so much that she started crying haha...that was good... and ooooo havin a massive haagen dazz (however you spell it) hmmm it was good...looking at the harbour infront of me :)
(yes i'm still wearing my summer ball bracelet thingy)

Still in Marseille

2006-06-24T14:51:00.000Z

Well the days are flying by and I wish I could do more but well I fele bad saying what I want to do and it's annoying. That's why I like doing things like on my own so that I can go and do what I want...but nevermind...I'm having a good time. The weather is still great and I've been to the beach twice, been clubbing, been to an Irish pub, observed France winning the match France vs Togo, been shopping, been walking a lot, met a lot of people and even people i'd never thought i'd meet again!!!
In 2002 I was going out with Billy, Zarah's dad, and we went to the beach once back in Mauritius, with his old friends....I never saw those friends again and well Billy I'd rather not know what he's up to...anyway...I came to Marseille qnd only met one of the guys who were there at the beach that day!!!nearly wow 4 years later!!! We laughed a lot... talked a lot about that day at the beach and also about Billy...We had a great time last night clubbing and all that..
Ha...when we were in this club there was this English girl/lady lol...so so so drunk and just approaching every guy she saw I was like dude!!!! Had to tell my friends the English are not like that really!!! oh dear!!! lol
Well I'm having a great time here...missing the British culture hehe but it's good!!! Remy(French dude), Steph, Me hehe

22/365

2006-06-24T14:46:00.000Z

Listening to my favorite songs on a packed beach...being nosey and looking at everyone lol...having a swim in the warm sea...going to an Irish pub(people took me there)...saw what the French are like when France is playing a world cup match and especially what they are like when they win!! Oh and also me shouting ENGLAND around loads of Frenchies!!!

21/365

2006-06-24T14:44:00.000Z

Falling asleep on the beach...hot sun shining on me...sound of the waves crashing onto the sand...

Being in Marseille

2006-06-22T12:54:00.000Z

Oh yes i'm in Marseille...trying to write using a french keyboard which is not very easy!!! Nothing is where you think it is!!!
The weather is great..hopefully it'll stay like this. I arrived yesterday, it was "music day" so there was a lot happening in the streets. We walked around til 3 am it was really fun. I met some of Stephanie's friends...they are quite cool.
Oh...something not so cool happened to me...when I got my suitcase it was in pieces...the zip was ripped the plastic was cômpletely broken..it was not good...now I might have to buy a new one or even bring my stuff back in a bin bag haha
I've been a good brit....singing some good old football songs and shouting ENGLAND haha!!!
I'm so glad i speak french even if it's with an english accent..dunno how i would have sorted my luggage problems hehe.
Over and out for now

Separated at birth

2006-06-22T12:53:00.000Z

Tom from Sherfield and Sammy from Marseille....

20/365

2006-06-22T12:49:00.000Z

Please do excuse me for missing out one day, i was so busy that I completely forgot to write.
Walking in the little streets in Marseille and finding a Christian group signing "His love endures forever" but in French!!! Then a little girl handing out John's Gospel!!! Just singing along thinking How amazing is our God!!!

19/365

2006-06-19T23:14:00.000Z

Sorting out stuff for my flat and just seeing how God is totally in control...remembering how amazing He is and how His plan is great!!

18/365

2006-06-19T23:13:00.000Z

Just sleeping hehe without little Zarah waking me up...Spending time with Alex and watching tv in bed:)

17/365

2006-06-19T23:10:00.000Z

The summer ball!! It was good!! Hehe..just nice to see people I know all dressed up for the occasion!! Having a fun time till 6.30-7ish in the morning!!

16/365

2006-06-16T23:43:00.000Z

Going to Mc Donalds with mum and Zarah and Zarah looking at the M on my sandwich box and saying "I'm lovin' it" hahaha

Well Done

2006-06-16T23:42:00.000Z

A big well done to Ceryn for her remarkable results...didn't really think she'd make it hahaha joking!!!
Good one dude!!!

How sad...

2006-06-16T23:27:00.000Z

I've been reading Ceryns blogs, seeing what she's been up to as i'm not there anymore!! I got quite sad reading that she's having fun, not that I don't want to have fun, just that I can't join in. For the past 2 terms Ceryn's been swamped with work and ill so we haven't really done much together. I'd just love to chill in the sun with her, have a little chat like we used to about my thousands of questions about the Bible or any other thing. I won't have the chance to have such moments with her for a long time. I don't know when i'll see her again, I know I will soon but soon is a word I don't really like to hear or use (Calvin always said he'd be coming back to the uk soon...he never did). I've learnt that "soon" has no particular length..it could be a day, it could be a month, it could be a year or even a couple of years...I just hope it's not the latter. Time spent with good friends is priceless and something you have to cherish. I'll cherish every moment spent with my friends who are leaving this year and even those who are not going anywhere (for now)!! My aunt once told me that some friends will always be there for you and some were there for you but won't in the future...she said that people are put in your way to help you when you need it, some friends you might never see again, some will always be a part of your life. The people who I've known in my life have helped me become the person I am now. I don't think that if i hadn't been through such an ordeal with Billy (Zarah's dad) I wouldn't have been such a strong person now.
Anyway, kind of got side tracked there lol. I miss you Ceryn. Oh and I know she's never in because she's never online anymore!!!
Tea time for me hmmmm....

15/365

2006-06-15T23:18:00.000Z

Going to Tescos and buying loads of stuff to nibble on...coming back home...having lunch, a pie, party rings, crisps, home made lemonade and sweets hmmm....

14/365

2006-06-15T23:17:00.000Z

Zarah sitting quietly in the bus on the way to meet Wendy, her childminder.

13/365

2006-06-14T15:35:00.000Z

Going to Reading with Zarah.
Ceryn and Kat meeting her...their faces when they first saw her!!
How everyone just stared at her.
Zarah being a good girl all the way there and all the way back...

A day in Reading as a mum

2006-06-14T14:38:00.000Z

Yesterday was a great day:) I took Zarah all the way to Reading...it took us two buses, two trains and two tubes hehe oh times 2 (return journey).
It was really weird to be walking on campus, pushing Zarah, I was a mum and not a student.
We had a great time even though it did start to rain but it didn't matter. I had loads of people to entertain her. Her favourite was Kat hehe...everytime i mention Kat now her eyes twinkle and she's like "KAT" lol.
She only cried once which is a very good thing lol.
I took her to the nursery where she'll be staying while i'm at work next year...she really liked it. She even sat down with the other children.
I'm really looking forward to having her with me but also having friends around to support me. It'll be great!!!

12/365

2006-06-12T18:30:00.000Z

Being outside in the garden with zarah... setting up the paddling pool...Zarah observing what i'm doing...Zarah throwing water on me haha...nice afternoon :)

11/365

2006-06-11T23:21:00.000Z

Going to church this morning...it was great :)

Being at home

2006-06-11T22:41:00.000Z

Being at home is not always very fun...I start missing the days when I did nothing...or woke up at any time!! And of course being away from home means being away from nagging parents. So when I come back home to my mum, she starts to get on my nerves. Probably sounds bad but sorry! I'm just used to silence when watching the tv...that kind of thing.
Coming back home is a good thing too because obviously i get to spend more time with Zarah. It's so much hard work though, looking after her and playing with her, it's unbelievable the amount of energy she has.
There's one thing especially that I love when I come home is that I get to go to Jubilee Church :) I love that church...there's something about it...
Jubilee church is part of the New Frontiers group and suprisingly we gather in a cinema screen:) It's amazing. I get to take Zarah:) and she loves going to church. She loves the worship...she sings and dances and praises the Lord:)
Church today was very cool...we did Romans 8...good followup from CU on thursday:)
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"....Amazing...Just to think that no matter what we do, there will be no condemnation and no guilt. The speaker took as example of someone in court...the judge saying that he's not guilty...the guy won't just sit there saying no but I am guilty...he'll leave and tell everyone that he was found not guilty... it's the same for christians...we are found not guilty..for all that we could have done has been dealt with on the cross...we should therefore live without guilt. I don't know if i'm making much sense at the moment. Anyway it was great.
We ended singing "In Christ Alone"... When I saw the lyrics on the screen, I just wanted to cry...It took me all the way back to "my begining" back to RUCU houseparty 2005. I thought of Tim, Ceryn, that piano next to the dining room. I sang that song with all my heart. Today that song had such a different impact on me than it did I don't know how many months ago. The Lord is amazing...and no better words to explain what He means to me than the lyrics to "In Christ Alone":

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my
strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who tookon flesh

Fullness of God in helpless babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save'Till on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me

For I am His and He ismine

Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power ofChrist in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

'Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Lyrics copyright 2001 Kingsway/Thankyou music

10/365

2006-06-10T21:33:00.000Z

Watching Zarah play in the park with other children.
Zarah holding onto a rugby ball and running away with it as soon as another child wants to play with it...funny hehe
Just generally having a good day with church.

Feeling better :)

2006-06-10T00:20:00.000Z

I'm feeling much better today, after yesterdays depressing moment. I'm quite glad that I posted what I was thinking last night...I don't think I would have been able to actually talk to someone about it. I was hoping for a response from someone, someone to tell me what to do, and I got that response. I'd just like to say thanks to Anna, you're amazing, thanks to Kat, thanks to Bish but most of all thanks to Ceryn...You said everything I needed to hear this morning. You have no idea how those words comforted me, made me feel so much better about the way I was feeling. She told me that God uses us in different ways and that I was an encouragement to many people. I had a little cry and felt so much better after.
It's weird I couldn't stop thinking that the devil is going to use this opportunity to get to me but i'm not going to let that happen.
I've started reading a book that Ceryn's lent me "The Purpose Driven Life", really looking forward to reading it all. I'm keeping focused on Jesus...it's all about Him!!

9/365

2006-06-10T00:12:00.000Z

Getting a big big hug from Ceryn this morning and her encouraging words. I'm so going to miss her, but don't tell her lol. She has been a huge blessing in my life and I thank God for putting her on my path. I really look up to you Ceryn, I know I can always count on you and I love you so much.
Friendships are great....Christian friendships are even better :)
I just want to praise the Lord for all those people who have helped me grow in God....You are all amazing!!!

8/365

2006-06-10T00:09:00.000Z

Walking to CU with Ceryn and singing "I get knocked down but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down" to annoy her hehe(she doesn't really like that song) and i managed to keep her quiet for about 5 mins hehe because she was ignoring me...I thought it was so funny!!! She didn't hehe

Feeling weird

2006-06-09T05:55:00.000Z

This might not be a good thing to post but I really want to share my feelings. I became a christian on the 7th of Feb 2006. I've been reading my friends blogs lately. Today i read Anna's blog, Anna is someone who was in the same Christianity explored group as me. She became a Christian maybe a week after me or something like that. (I hope you don't mind me talking about you Anna). Reading her blog I got to see how much God is doing in her life and how happy she is and how much she has grown in God. I'm so happy for her :) but it also makes me realise that my path, or whatever you want to call it, is so different compared to hers (not that I should compare but..). I feel as if I'm not doing enough, I'm not involved enough or just not being christian enough. It's a stupid thing to say isn't it but that's how I feel sometimes. I know that the Lord loves me, no matter what and that His Grace is amazing but I still can't help the way i'm feeling.
Now that i'm going home tomorrow, I won't have my great Christian friends to help me and to guide me, and that's scary. I guess i'll always have someone I can talk to, i'll just have to phone but it won't be the same as just popping into Ceryn's room for a 30 mins chat.
I'm sorry if this post doesn't make much sense, i didn't plan what I just wrote, I just wrote it as it came to mind so it's a bit all over the place.

7/365

2006-06-07T04:14:00.000Z

Having a laugh at BOBs, taking loads of random photos and enjoying the weather.

6/365

2006-06-07T04:08:00.000Z

Going to see the student advisor and her telling me that i'm going to receive an offer for flat 25 creighton court!!!

5/365

2006-06-07T04:07:00.000Z

Watching Zarah fall asleep after she'd been naughty in the supermarket, she looked so innocent and fragile :)

4/365

2006-06-03T21:44:00.000Z

I can't really pick one cool thing so i'll just tell you all of them.
Going for a walk with Zarah and watching her admire all the little things that I usually take for granted.
Zarah smiling at every passerby she sees, which automatically made them smile too:)
Zarah pointing to the moon saying ball!! Bless...
Zarah wanting to go on fun fair rides but then cries when she's on one of them.
Zarah jumping in a bouncy castle for the first time...the smile on her face..priceless

3/365

2006-06-02T22:20:00.000Z

Sitting in my exams not really knowning anything except for the fact that it's all under control, under God's control and that I shouldn't worry. The amazing thing was that even when I came out of the exams I didn't really feel as if I did that badly (I know I did tho) :)

My trip home

2006-06-02T22:09:00.000Z

I finished my exams today (WOOHOO). I felt really relieved that it was all over but at the same time it felt weird not to have anything to do. Was going to go out tonight but decided not to and to go home instead. I got to Reading station and was waiting for my train and a train came. I was texting Kat and listening to music, as the doors opened i just got in. The doors closed and the train started to move....in the wrong direction!! I got on the wrong train!!! The train i got on was a train going to Oxford and not to London!!! Luckily it stopped before Oxford but it meant that I had to wait 30 mins at Tilehurst!! I finally made it home, took me 3h45 mins to get here. Left at 7 got here at 10.45. It took me 2 buses and 5 trains!!!
Ceryn found it very funny, at least i managed to make her laugh!!

2/365

2006-06-02T00:58:00.000Z

Well I was talking to Calvin on msn (Calvin's my boyfriend, he's in Arizona) and I realised how tired I am and how fed up I am with exams and all the problems that I have and I got quite upset, I really felt like I wouldn't be able to revise for tomorrows exam. That feeling lasted 5 mins, the Lord came to my rescue and comforted me and all i could feel was determination and love. Whatever happens tomorrow in that exam is up to Him, i totally trust in Him!!

God is Awesome

2006-06-01T21:13:00.000Z

I got back from CU tonight with a thirst for my Lord. I've been downloading songs and just singing, worshiping and praising the Lord for everything He's done in my life and what He's still doing. I should really be revising but hey this is a much better way to spend my time hehe:). Been listening to a few songs by Michael.W.Smith, one of which reminds me of CU houseparty, Awesome God!! How awesome is our God!! I just want to sing my heart out.
Tonight at CU Sean from Family church came to speak. We did Romans 6:15, 7:1-6 (Romans is my favorite book). I was, well we all were once again reminded of the greatness of Grace. How we are justified by faith and not by works. How we are free from the slavery of sin. God is amazing!! And His love for us is amazing and beyond anything i can imagine. I feel so unworthy of all His love and his forgiveness but yet He sees me as perfect, wow.
We sang Amazing grace and there's a bit in that made me have a BIG grin:) "We've no less days to sing God's praise then when we've first begun" Just reminds me that we'll be with God, praising him for eternity :)

1/365

2006-05-31T21:39:00.000Z

After all the trouble last night trying to set this thing up, I have decided to start my 365 today :)

Last day today working at the nursery and Louis gave me a kiss... it made my day. Louis is a little boy who's one year old :) He's so sweet and i'm really going to miss him!

2006-05-30T21:42:00.000Z

I'm Issy, Student in Food Science at The University of Reading, in my second year. Mum of one lovely little girl, Zarah. I'm quite a crazy outgoing person. I don't use big fancy words, don't know many really :) I just want to share some thoughts whenever i get any :)